The Role of Counselling in Managing Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety and depression are two of the most common mental health issues faced by individuals today. They can significantly impact a person's quality of life, creating barriers in relationships, work, and everyday functioning. However, help is available, and counselling is a powerful tool in managing both anxiety and depression. In this blog post, I am to explore what anxiety and depression are, how counselling can help, and some effective coping methods that can support you on your journey to mental well-being.

Understanding What Anxiety Is

First of all, before we deep dive into some ways of coping with anxiety let's talk about what it actually is. Anxiety is a natural response to stress or perceived danger, but when it becomes chronic or overwhelming, it can interfere and take over with daily life. If we suffer from anxiety as an adult it will usually mean throughout our life, since childhood, we have probably been triggered to survival mode (see below) in varying degrees because of what we may have experienced. Our brain then gets used to ‘using’ this survival mode to cope with everyday life issues when actually as an adult we have more evolved parts of our brain to problem solve and manage stress in our life in a different more rational and pragmatic way. However, this needs working at, it has become and unconscious way of us coping with life and we need to spend time changing these old, negative patterns of behaviour and thinking built up in childhood. We do need to be grateful to them - after all they have helped us to survive!! But we can now learn more healthier ways of coping.

Survival mode – What is it

This is when our Fight; Flight; Freeze response is triggered (actually we now talk about this as the 5 F’s adding Friend & Flop but I will go into detail in a future blog post- so watch this space!) The part of the brain that is in charge of our survival is the Amygdala. Since we are conceived and in utero it is on guard 24/7 looking for danger and then acting if we are in danger. However, the only way it can actual help us, it to trigger the fight; flight; freeze response. This is essentially where it talks to the pituitary gland and asks it to release adrenaline and cortisol into our bloodstream. The adrenaline will make us stronger and ready to ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ (run away) and able to cope with the stressful situation we find ourselves in. Since the Amygdala first comes into action before we are born it is scanning for danger 24/7 building up a resource guide to when it needs to act and in response to what. If it’s had to work overtime when we are children, it will probably be more hypervigilant when we are an adult, and this is often where anxiety becomes a problem for us. This is an unconscious process that goes on for us and so when we are experiencing it as anxiety as an adult, it can feel frightening and we can feel powerless and out of control as we seemingly can’t do anything to change this process taking over our body.

I will explore this in more depth in a future blog posts too, along with Body Memory that our Amygdala stores as part of it’s way of building a resource guide.

Symptoms of anxiety can vary depending on the person but often include constant worry, restlessness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, and physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, or dizziness. Anxiety disorders can range from generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) to panic disorders and social anxiety.

It's important we get anxiety into perspective. It doesn’t define us or isn’t part of our identity. It’s something that affects us in our life to a greater or lesser degree depending on what is going on for us day to day. It’s helpful also to understand that our anxiety is triggered by an ‘external’ stressor (something in our environment has triggered it) – Sometimes we think of it more as something internalised- like ‘we are the problem’ ‘it’s our fault we can’t cope’. But identifying what is still triggering in our external world can also help. It’s also beneficial and helpful to know we can live free from anxiety and counselling can help us do that.

Some Coping Methods That Can Help With Anxiety

Counselling can be one of the most effective ways to overcome anxiety. It can offer space to explore why we have anxiety, Identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that fuel anxiety and replacing them with more positive, balanced thoughts then learning practical ways to keep more rational parts of our brain engaged in anxiety provoking situations rather than our brain triggering to survival. We can then feel more empowered and in control, confident in our ability to cope and live free from anxiety.

Here are some coping methods I often utilised during my counselling sessions for anxiety:

Exploring childhood to find the root of our anxiety: I think one of the most important things we need to do to overcome anxiety is really understand where it comes from. Get to the root of why it is here with us as an adult. How did it develop and why did we need it as a child? This may be subtle, and we may not realise why. A parent or caregiver who had anxiety, or ‘was a worrier’, where we constantly told ‘mind that!’; ‘don’t touch that!’ ‘that’s dangerous don’t go near it’; ‘careful, you’ll hurt yourself’! Do we remember being called ‘shy’ as a child? (the first signs of us being anxious as a child). We may have had an unpredictable childhood with parents arguing or divorcing. Or growing up with an alcoholic parent. Or did we grow up in a shouty loud household with difficult siblings to content with? All the way through to reasons such as neglectful, abusive childhoods which offer a more obvious reason why we have anxiety as an adult. But this needs attention, time to explore how hard this was and give our younger self compassion and understanding.
Mindfulness and Grounding Exercises: I will help you build up a practice of mindfulness and grounding exercises- this truly is our golden ticket when it comes to managing anxiety BUT to do this we have to understand reasons why we have it and also how our brain works! Within the counselling sessions I run we will deep dive and go into detail more on how the brain works and how you can take control of it when you may feel anxious, rather than letting it control you. Once we understand the brain, we understand why we need to practise mindfulness. I know it’s hard when we may have been told in the past ‘go and do some breathing or relaxation’ and sent on our way. It’s true it will help- but to do this we have to understand so much more first. It’s not as simple as ‘doing a bit of relaxation’

Focus: These exercises help individuals focus on the present moment rather than worrying about future events. Mindfulness involves paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judgement, which can help reduce anxiety levels over time.
Breathing Techniques: Learning deep, controlled breathing helps to activate the body's relaxation response, reducing the physical symptoms of anxiety. Techniques like diaphragmatic breathing (also known as belly breathing) or the 4-7-8 technique (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds) can be practised during moments of anxiety to calm the nervous system.
Challenging Negative Thoughts: Anxiety often arises from negative or irrational thoughts, although it's easier said than done, these thoughts can be controlled and replaced with more rational, positive alternatives. For example, replacing "I can't handle this situation" with "I have managed difficult situations before, and I can do it again." Trying to understand when we are constantly questioning ‘what if?’ we are trying to predict the future which we have no control over. So finding techniques to help us change this is crucial.

To find out more information about how I can help you with anxiety, get in touch with me today to start your journey to recovery.

Explaining What Depression Is

Depression is more than simply feeling sad for a few days, most people will go through a period of feeling down. It is a mood disorder characterised by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed. Other symptoms may include changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping or oversleeping, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, and even thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

Strategies for Coping with Depression

Like anxiety, depression can be managed effectively with counselling, it can be highly effective with positive outcomes. If the depression is long and enduring sometimes a combination of medication and counselling can be the best approach. But this can be discussed within the sessions and of course a GP would be the person you consult further if you are thinking about medication to support you. I am happy to have a conversation to help you explore this option. Depression can sometimes be described as ‘reactive’ when we have gone through a trauma; a loss of some sort (divorce; redundancy; retirement; loss of identity); or a bereavement, we may have a period of depression that follows this while we work our how to cope and move forward with life. Or maybe following the birth of a child (PND Post Natal Depression) Counselling can help individuals understand the root causes of their depression, whatever form it takes and process difficult emotions, and develop strategies for improving their mood and outlook. Some effective coping strategies for managing depression include:

Exploring childhood to find the root of our depression: As with anxiety, I think one of the most important things we need to do to overcome depression is really understand where it comes from. Even if it is reactive caused by a trauma or loss in the here and now, we will probably find links to childhood loss or trauma that need exploring and understanding first. What links can we find? What do we need to nurture from our childhood and give attention to? Do we need to ‘put down’ or ‘let go’ of some difficult and unprocessed turmoil, we may be experiencing this as shame or guilt, or it may be repressed anger or other difficult emotions we have now idea are there or even how to start to cope and unpack them. Counselling can offer this space- then when we do, we offer ourselves the opportunity to move on in the here and now.
Building your self-worth and self-esteem: So often if we experience periods of depression we often have low self-worth and self-esteem. Counselling can offer a space to explore practical ways to improve this – to learn to like and even love yourself!
Positive Thinking and Cognitive Restructuring: Depression often involves persistent negative thinking patterns, such as feeling worthless or hopeless. Counselling can help individuals identify these unhelpful thought patterns and gradually replace them with more positive, realistic perspectives. For example, instead of thinking, "I'm not good enough," try to reframe it to "I am doing the best I can, and that's enough."
Establishing a Routine: Depression can disrupt your daily routines, leading to a sense of chaos and lack of control. Establishing a regular schedule, including time for exercise, hobbies, social activities, and sleep, can help individuals regain a sense of purpose and control in their lives.
Engaging in Pleasurable Activities: Depression drains your motivation and interest in things you may have once enjoyed. Counselling encourages individuals to reintroduce activities that they find pleasurable or fulfilling, even if they don’t initially feel motivated. This can help to boost mood and counteract feelings of hopelessness.

All of the above is easier said than done, and I understand that the journey through depression or anxiety can feel overwhelming. But remember, you are not alone in this. As counsellors, we are here to support you every step of the way, offering guidance, understanding, and methods like the above to help you use them to the fullest and to help you manage your mental health. Together, we can work through the challenges and find a path toward healing and well-being. You don’t have to face this alone- I am here to help you through it, get in touch with me today.

How Counselling Can Help

Whether you are dealing with anxiety, depression, or both, counselling can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings, identify the underlying causes of your struggles, and develop practical coping strategies. But every individual is unique and a personalised counselling plan can be created to suit your specific needs. Our work together is client led, we will work at your pace, empowering you to regain control over your emotional health and your life.

At Revive Suffolk Counselling, I am an experienced counsellor who is here to provide compassionate support, guiding you through your journey toward emotional wellness, to find out more about me and my qualifications view my 'about me' page on my website. I offer both in-person and online counselling sessions to suit your needs.

Book Your Session Today

Ready to take the first step toward healing? Revive Suffolk Counselling is here to help. I offer individual adult counselling sessions to address anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns. Whether you prefer to meet in person at my Ipswich office or online, I am committed to providing you with a safe and supportive environment to explore your emotions and find peace.